1 month into 2017 and this year is just getting more and more hectic. Whatever is happening, 2017 seems to be the year that I am going to get my shit together. Whether I like it or not.
I had this feeling of freshness at the start of the year. Inspiration and aspirations filled the depths of my soul and I was ready to take on anything life had to throw at me. I made goals for myself, both creative and concrete, and have been trying to take better care of myself as well. And, though these feelings have not faded, I'm already beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. I knew this year was going to be quite the transition for me, but its the time waiting thats starting to slowly kill me. Being in limbo is definitely not a fun thing. I'm spoiled to have a certain amount of certainty in my life...at least having some idea of whats going to happen in the next year. But right now I'm kind of living month to month, which never really bothered me before but now I have another creature, besides myself, that I'm taking care of and I need to make sure he is living the best life possible. It is time for me to buckle down and create a solid and consistent life for me and my dog.
When I began writing this I had intended on talking about all the weird bumps I'd hit in the past few weeks. I was going to complain and whine to get the negative feelings out and try to move on. But is that really going to help? Or am I just fueling my insecurities/nervousness/fatalistic mindset? I think the latter. So instead of focusing on uninspired me I'm going to reread and repost the feelings I had at the start of the year.
"Entering 2017 with a peaceful mindset. -
I can complain about the atrocities of 2016 and be angry about what has happened these last 12 calendar months, it is too easy for me to resort to negativity. So instead of dwelling on what has happened and wallowing in my self pity, I will practice positivity, today and for the years to come. I am happy to have this society-constructed idea of a blank slate to try and make better habits/choices but I also don't want to rely on the "new year" to continue bettering myself. I have a lot of plans for 2017 and it's already proving to be a transitional year for me. I know there will be a lot of confusion, heartache, and restless nights. I just hope to learn, grow, and be happy this year. I've also been inspired by a conversation with my dear @nikochico who has decided to "turn everything (he) does into something creative" Why can't I do that? Why am I afraid of putting all of my energy into creativity? I've always used my creative side as an escape from the real world, as if it is something that cannot be incorporated into my everyday life. But that stops now! I will take every opportunity I can to create and explore the insides of my mind.
So cheers to a year of growth, happiness, and creativity. Let's celebrate and choose greatness."